After (Switch/Apoc)

[amazon-syren.livejournal.com]

So... A while back, I wrote a kinda sweet, kinda sad fic about what Switch and Apoc talked about while they were lounging around waiting for Morpheus et al to get back from taking Neo to see the Oracle.

In now present a follow-up (ish) fic about what happened to them *after* that scene in the TV repair shop. (Yes, you read that correctly).

I warn you, it is really, *really* fluffy. There are tweeting birds and everything.
(I kept smiling while I wrote it -- hopefully the two of them aren't entirely out of character... ;-)



After

The body cannot live without the mind, Morpheus had said, over and over again, to all of us.
I'd always understood that it worked both ways - if your mind dies, so does your body. If your body dies, so does your mind. I'd always understood that mind and soul were the same thing, that if you died while you were jacked in... there was nothing left to go somewhere else after.

When Apoc - god, my brother, my lover, my partner in everything - when he fell, like a puppet with its strings cut, I felt something inside me shatter. I swear to god, I felt it, like a nail through glass. Kneeling beside the empty shell that had been him, I felt the sharp pain, and then the swift numbness, and knew for a split second that this was the end.

And then I felt nothing.

...

So why do I feel anything now?
How is there an 'I' to feel at all?
And yet, there is.
I feel the hemp of my clothing against my skin.
I feel sunlight - sunlight, how can that be? - warm, on my face.
I feel something, soft and coarse at once - grass? - under my head, my back.
I can feel the breeze, just cool enough, just warm enough, and smell the water.
I can hear sea birds calling.
This can't be real.
How can it be real? I've never known the sound of a real bird, the touch of real sunlight.
It can't be real.
But it feels real.

I need to get up, but I find myself wanting to stay a moment longer, basking in the sun (am I crazy?). I need to open my eyes (god, how much will that sun hurt, with nothing between me and it?), get my bearings.

Find the others.
Something must have gone wrong.
I fight the languor in my limbs, the sleepy peace that keeps trying to steel over me, and roll onto my side.
I crack my eyes open, trying to look into my own shadow to keep the light from blinding me.
There is a ladybug, scarlet and black, not two inches from me, crawling on a blade of jade-green grass. I can see it perfectly.

Why don't my eyes hurt? I wonder.
I lift my gaze, little by little, get, cautiously, to my feet and take in my surroundings.
Green, green grass stretching on for ever. I look over my shoulder and see the water - ocean or lake, I can't tell, though I don't smell any salt on the air, the hot, afternoon sun hanging above the horizon.

What's happened to me? What is this place?
In the east, distantly, I can see the silver-green flutter of poplar leaves -- if that's what they are, if what I think poplar leaves look like are actually what they look like.

That's where I have to go.
There's no cover anywhere else, and it can't be safe to stay in the open.
Anyone could spot me.
Anything.
Oh, god... I can't help thinking of Apoc. Together we could handle just about anything, warding each other and finishing each other's thoughts. Alone... I'm cooked. Or will be, if I can't find something to put my back against, something else - a big stick or a rock or something, god - to defend myself with.

Fervently, uselessly, I wish that he was here.
"Switch!"
I turn at the sound of his voice - his surprised, jubilant voice. He is sitting up in the grass, a few meters from me.
He can't possibly have been here the whole time. He can't have been. I'd have seen him.
"H-how--?"
"How did you--," he begins, but his face falls. "Oh, god," he says. "He got you, too."
I scramble to his side, unable to stop myself from clutching at him.
"Wh-- How did you get here?" I ask, on my second try, running my hands over his arms, his sides, trying to assure myself that he's really here, really breathing.

"I just-- I opened my eyes and I was here," he answers. "I w-wanted to find you..."
For a moment, only a moment, we stare at each other, then he flings his arms around me and I pull him close, closer still, desperate to touch him, desperate for the solid reality of his body.

I haven't lost you, I think, clinging to him, grateful beyond words. I've still got you.
"This is really real, isn't it?" I murmur. It's the scent of him that convinces me. The familiar scent of sweat and oil and earth that I've come to adore.

The matrix never got it right, in all the times we jacked in. But here... here it's perfect.
"I think so," he answers, and I hear the intake of breath, feel him nosing at my neck, my shoulder. "I think it is."
"Do you know where we are?" I murmur.
I feel him shake his head, feel his lips press to my shoulder. I run my hand over his hair, tied back with its familiar blue rag. I can feel my own heart slowing, returning to its normal rate.

"Are you alright?" he asks, softly.
I nod and then, uncertain, I shake my head.
"Apoc..." I pull away, just a little. Just enough to meet his eyes. "I-- I felt myself die."
I see him swallow.
"So did I," he breathes, brushing his fingers over my hair. "At least... I think that's what it was..."
I settle into his embrace again, rubbing his back slowly, taking comfort from his arms.
There are birds singing in the grass, and gulls calling over the water. I think, maybe, I can hear the hum of bees, but I'm not sure.

I don't know how long we stay like that - maybe 'time' doesn't really exist here, I don't know. But it's warm, and the sounds are gentle. I don't really mind not moving.

"Are we really dead?" I ask, finally, in a small voice.
I feel him shrug.
"Don't see how we couldn't be," he offers, and I feel myself smile, a little.
My Apoc...
I can feel that peace seeping into me again, the kind of peace I've only ever known in dreams, his arms around me and his heart beating under my ear, both of us protected by the thick walls of Zion.

"I didn't think there'd be anything... after..."
"Me neither," he answers. He laughs, a little, ragged and breathless. "You're here," he breathes, and buries himself in my shoulder, rocking me in his arms. "Oh, god, you're here!"

"I'm here," I whisper, pressing fervent kisses to his temple, his dark, curling hair.
The sound he makes is almost a sob, and he claims my mouth, as hungry and desperate as I am, kissing me fiercely.
I cling to him, pulling him as close as I can, letting his kiss flood my senses.
I could have kissed him for a moment or a year, and I will never know. But when we pull away from each other, the sun is a red ball already half-way below the horizon and I know that time of some sort has passed.

I stroke his cheek, and he smiles at me, the shy, slightly sheepish smile that makes my insides melt every damn time he does it.
"We'll have to find somewhere to sleep," I murmur, though the air is still warm and the breeze off the water is still soft.
"We will," he assures me.
I smirk and lift my eyebrows at him. As if he'd know for sure.
He gives me a lopsided grin.
"Well, I assume," he adds.
I laugh.
He's always been able to make me laugh, even in my bleak and brooding moods.
It feels really good.
"We could stay here," he suggests.
I smile at him.
"You think?"
"For a bit," he offers. "Maybe for the night."
I kiss him, soft and light.
"I like that idea," I tell him, and press him back, onto the grass, my arm under his neck, supporting him. Above our heads, the evening stars are starting to come out.
"Yeah?" he asks, and his warm, brown eyes twinkle at me.
I lift my eyebrows and nod.
Definitely.
I kiss him again, slow and gentle, breathing his breath, holding his hand in mine, knowing that we have all the time in the world - maybe more - and that I can kiss him for ever if I want to.

When we finally come up for air, the night has fallen, and there are crickets singing, distantly, in the grass.
"Oh, wow," Apoc breathes, looking up past my shoulder. "Switch, look..."
I twist, craning my neck, so I can see the sky.
"Oh..."
I couldn't count the stars if I tried.
It's beautiful...
We lie in the grass, watching the diamond-pricked sky, holding hands and drawing closer, until new desires take over.
The night lasts as long as we need it to.


*~*~*~*~*

So there it is. If you haven't died from the sugar overdose, I commend you. :-)

Comments, as always, are totally appreciated. :-)

- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)